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My recommendation for women is to tell your partner what you want them to do. Tell them you don’t want to be fixed or helped, you want them to understand the feeling. They like problem-solving so you could ask them whether they could help you understand what you are feeling (even if you know!). It will give them a clear role, to understand the feeling. Also, don’t expect the masculine to be like your feminine friends, as much as you wish they were more like that! No-one teaches men to engage with feminine emotion. Most men have poor male role-models when it comes to connecting to the feminine.
Learn to love each other again. It sounds silly but we get complacent in mature relationships. We KNOW we love each other but how loved do you feel? We assume people want to be loved in the same way we do. Learn about the different ways you can give/receive love and you may be surprised your partner prefers to receive it in a different way to you. If you don’t use the right ‘love language’ they won’t feel the benefit of your acts of love.
Lastly, I would say stop timing sex. That is based on fear. Actions taken from fear feed the fear. Fear puts tension in your body. Enjoy each other more frequently.