During these unprecedented times in modern history, it’s really easy to get caught up in the fear – not only in general, but especially when it comes to fertility.
One of the reasons things like this feel so disturbing is because we don’t have control over it, and to the Type-A part of us, that’s really uncomfortable.
If you’ve been following my work for any length of time you know that when we are in fear or stressed out, our fight-or-flight switch is triggered. When that happens, all blood and energy goes to essential body systems like heart, brain and lungs (things you need to survive). Your uterus is not essential in a life-or-death situation, so that’s one of the first things to turn “off”. So this can add some extra pressure to the fertility journey when we feel even more out of control than normal amid the coronavirus of it all.
So what are some things we should keep in mind during this time?
First, we want to think about transmuting “control” to “power”. My private clients are probably sick of me saying, “It’s not the situation that is stressful, it’s what we make it mean that’s stressful.” When we feel out of control, we are desperate for the situation, or a person to change so that we can be okay. In this place, we are never okay because our brains’ perceived safety rests with something/someone else- so fight or flight stays “on”. The brain thinks it needs to be in control to be okay, and it’s not in control, so it’s not okay– and so the cycle repeats. Power on the other hand, is finding a way for you be okay, no matter what situation you are placed in. When we focus on what we can do instead of what we can’t, we become an energetic match to being/feeling more capable no matter what the current situation is. So write a list of the things you can do to make yourself feel safe, happy and capable. You’ll then become more of an energetic match to those things instead of the fear.
Second, I know this is going to sound crazy to your brain, but see if you can find where the gift is in this coronavirus situation. Everything that happens in our lives is happening for our evolution as a person. When we think it’s happening to us, we have no power and thanks to our friend Law of Attraction, we aren’t a match to successfully moving through challenges. Instead, we tend to stay stuck much longer. There’s a quote by Eckhart Tolle: “Accept–then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” So if we feel at the mercy of the coronavirus, we are an energetic match to more fear and likelihood of attracting complications. When we try to run away from it or overcompensate we are just keeping ourselves in resistance to what is happening. We can wish the situation were different all day long, but it’s not. Right now this is happening, so where our choice comes in, is in finding how this situation could be happening for us ( as a gift) versus to us (as a punishment. Journal about some reasons that make sense for you.
Here are some to get you started:
- I have more time to meditate, journal and work on my mindset and energy which I know is necessary to shift my fertility energy
- I have been wanting to shift into a different career for a long time now and this gives me time to research, dream, and plan what that might look like
- I have more of a chance to cook healthy foods and exercise without feeling forced or stressed for time
- I can get done the ‘to-do’ list of things I have had for a while
- I don’t have to see my boss/co-workers that stress me out
Third, remember that nothing is permanent. Nothing. Our brains always feel that when we are in the midst of stress, that it will always be that way. It literally never is. Yes coronavirus is real and is serious, but if you can find a way to be okay amid a pandemic (which you can), then fertility doesn’t seem as heavy or insurmountable. You have the power to make some changes without “needing” to have “control” over the situation.
Sending you all lots of love. You can do this!