This fertility journey can easily be all consuming. We can become engrossed in making sure we eat exactly the right foods or supplements, that we don’t exercise too much, having sex at exactly the right time and we can miss out on trips and events all out of fear. Unfortunately, it’s common to find that after a while we are living as a “smaller” version of ourselves. We feel we can’t do or be the things we might want to because it might sacrifice our chances of becoming mothers; and this keeps us in a very fearful, stagnant pattern.
Many times my clients will tell me things like,
When I get pregnant/have a baby, THEN I will:
- switch jobs
- quit my job
- find a hobby
- have a drink
- have a pastry
- build my business
- get back to singing lessons
- resolve things with my partner/parents/friends
Their reasons make sense on paper. Often on this fertility journey we find we have too much on our plates with work, family and other responsibilities that keep us over-stimulated and not taking care of ourselves. You brain (ego) aside from making sure that you stay alive also wants to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
And when you are burning your candle at both ends and there’s no space for you to breathe, your brain is not going to allow another thing (baby) to take up MORE space no matter how well intentioned you may be. It’s not sustainable, and many of you have been told that/figured that out, so you may have gone to the opposite extreme of pausing everything.
Here’s why that’s actually slowing you down:
Our old friend, Law of Attraction. Like energy attracts like energy. So if we are putting out: “When I get pregnant, then I’ll build my dream business,” what the Universe is hearing is: “I’m not pregnant so I can’t build my business, and I can’t start my business until after I’m pregnant, but I’m not pregnant so I can’t start my business.” So we stay stuck in that energy.
Sometimes when we are in fear that we are running out of time, we think we have to focus solely on the baby or it will slip away from us. More often than not, however, we are focusing on the baby from a place of lack and are worried we will make a wrong move. From a Law of Attraction perspective, that keeps you a match to lack, need and incapability.
When we put various aspects of our life on pause, we literally HAVE to be met with an energetic match to more being on pause and things don’t move- including/especially the baby situation. Waiting brings more waiting. There’s no getting around it.
Pausing, restricting and “holding your breath” isn’t a match to where you want to be. Trust that working on you IS the work of getting the baby here.
So the best thing you can do to get your energy moving is write a list of who you were and what you liked to do before this fertility journey started. What did you put on pause? Systematically go through that list and un-pause. Take a leap and do one of those things- travel, go for a run, have a croissant, etc.
When you connect back to who you are and what lights you up in life, you become a vibrational match to receiving more experiences that light you up- like the baby.
Hit “play” on your life! It’s necessary for you to move forward.
You can contact A’ndrea via her website fusionfertility.com
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