How To Cope With IVF Failures – What Happens To Your Body?

Improvements in assisted reproductive technology are continuously nudging up IVF (in vitro fertilization) success rates and these improvements are being replicated in treatment centers around the world. Whilst success rates are rising, the number of patients accessing IVF treatments is also increasing. A successful IVF cycle may not be achieved the first time which means that in real terms the number of IVF cycles being performed is increasing alongside the number of unsuccessful cycles.

Guaranteeing successful fertility treatment is not therefore a given. As someone who has experienced a failed IVF treatment cycle, as well as a cycle that ended in an early miscarriage, I know how devastating both outcomes can be.

Finally accepting that a natural pregnancy might not be possible and acknowledging that fertility treatment is required can be a torturous process. The prospect of potential months of preparation (physical and psychological) and the IVF attempt itself can be intimidating and with no guarantee of success it is no surprise that many who ride the rollercoaster of a fertility journey experience self-doubt, frustration, depression and anxiety.

In contrast to the minefield of information that exists on how to prepare for IVF treatment, there is very little to advise patients on how to deal with treatment failure or repeated implantation failure. Whilst many people who write about IVF failure tend to describe their initial devastation and sometimes their eventual triumph over it, very few actually write about the practical things they might have done to help them through that period of their lives.

You may be interested in reading: IVF success rates explained

Even though it is true that grief is a process that takes its own time, there are things that may help you to cope better with everyday life.

Some of the coping strategies I’ve outlined here are more relevant to those who do wish to pursue further IVF treatment, but others are applicable to everyone, regardless of the next steps.

The IVF failure blame game

While some degree of anger is expected in the aftermath of an IVF failure try not to let it take over or it can be destructive.

To find out that my IVF cycle had failed and knowing that we had no frozen embryos with which to attempt a follow-up cycle, was unbelievably heartbreaking.

My immediate reaction was to find someone to blame. At first, I blamed the clinic, convinced it was their negligence somewhere along the line that had caused harm to our embryos. I reflected back on every conversation I had had with them, trying to find holes in their processes and signs of their incompetence.

Then, inevitably, I turned the blame on myself, analysing every single move I made during the cycle and wondering what it was that I did to stop my embryos from implanting. Being unable to conceive naturally had already been a harsh prospect to come to terms with, but being unable to get pregnant through IVF made me feel more inadequate and more of an IVF failure than ever before.

You may be interested in reading: Things We Wish We Could Tell Our Fertility Clinic

Focus on the follow-up appointment

In the first few days, and possibly weeks, following a failed cycle, you will fill feel energy drained; it can be difficult to contemplate another IVF cycle, especially a fresh one. The grief can be so overwhelming that it’s impossible to fathom putting yourself in such a situation again.

About six weeks after a failed cycle, when emotions have settled down a little, clinics will typically schedule a follow-up appointment with a physician to review the cycle and try to understand where it might have gone wrong.

Try to hold out for this appointment and avoid making any definite decisions until you have talked to your infertility specialist. You may find that there are changes that can be made to the protocols that might help your odds on a subsequent cycle.

There may also be further fertility investigations that can be done or new techniques that can be tried. However, if egg quality is the suspected cause of IVF failure, it is worth preparing for the possibility that treatment options that you had previously rejected, such as using donor eggs, may now be the best chance of success.

Sometimes, patients after several IVF failures are starting to think about looking for fertility clinics abroad which may be a good choice if they are aware of all pros and cons of going abroad for an IVF.

Understand why the failure of IVF occurred

Try not to leave your follow up appointment without ensuring you fully understand why your treatment may have failed. Many of the IVF patients I spoke to who experienced an unsuccessful cycle didn’t realise that there were signs throughout the cycle that their odds of success were low.
For example, if the fertilization rates were very low, or the quality of the embryos on transfer day was poor.

On our first cycle, my husband and I had a very low fertilization rate and didn’t make it to a day-five transfer.

However, we were so happy that we had an embryo to transfer that we didn’t really listen to or question what we were being told. Had we asked more questions along the way, and had realistic expectations, we may not have been so shocked by the outcome. Moreover, we didn’t really question why the treatment may have failed during our follow-up consultation, and so entered into the second cycle with exactly the same protocols.

Related reading: Failed IVF cycles – Real Patient Cases

Don’t rush into anything

When IVF fails it can feel as though you are back at square one. The backup plan has failed, and it can feel like you’ve run out of options and there is no hope left.

Having probably spent many years trying to get pregnant naturally prior to attempting IVF treatment many people feel as though they need to move on without wasting more time. In order to feel as though they are doing something to get over the IVF failure many rush into decisions that are understandably poorly thought through.

Some will decide to close the door on IVF completely, and others leap straight into another cycle. In my experience, the immediate aftermath of a failed cycle is not the best time to make big decisions.

How to cope with IVF failures

We started our second IVF cycle barely three months after finding out that our first had failed. On reflection, this was far too soon. I hadn’t allowed nearly enough time for my head, my heart, or my body to heal properly. I wanted to stop the pain, the anger, and the feelings of despair, and the only solution I could see was to get pregnant as soon as possible.

In hindsight, there is no question in my mind that we should have taken a longer break to ensure that we were both in optimum condition, both physically and mentally, to withstand another cycle, but we were desperate to do something to alleviate the anguish and get out of that dreadful limbo.

The second IVF cycle was easier in some respects since we were no longer dealing with the unknown. However, we both found it more physically demanding, possibly because we were still so exhausted from the first cycle. Sadly, this cycle was also unsuccessful and ended in an early miscarriage.

You should also know how to establish and understand your personal boundaries regarding IVF treatment which may help you to make informed decisions about your further treatment.

Try to focus on what worked

Even if the ultimate outcome is negative, there will probably be plenty of aspects of the cycle that did go well. Try to focus on these as much as possible, especially if considering another IVF cycle in future.

Following our second cycle, I was continuously told by family and friends that I should focus on the fact that at least I could get pregnant. Initially, these comments infuriated me, as it felt as though no one really understood just how much we had invested to make it as far as a positive pregnancy test.

Acknowledging the short-lived pregnancy as a positive thing seemed futile. I couldn’t even contemplate the thought of trying IVF ever again – the pain was just too unbearable.

However, over time I started to realize that those people were right – there were positives to focus on, and I tried to gain strength from them. My body had reacted badly to the overstimulation which may have compromised the egg quality, but this could be adjusted in a subsequent cycle, and although we had suffered a miscarriage one in four pregnancies end this way, regardless of whether IVF was used or not. As bleak as things were, we had to acknowledge that there was still hope.

Take an IVF break

In the aftermath of an unsuccessful cycle, it is important to try and take as much time out to grieve and heal as you possibly can. If you haven’t taken time off work during treatment, then you should try and take some time out afterwards.

Many people I have spoken to found that, although they had felt unable to talk to their employer about treatment while they were going through it when a cycle failed, they found that they had no choice; going to work and putting on a brave face was impossible. They were grieving and needed time to mourn and come to terms with their loss before attempting to resume a normal life.

Find a new distraction

After months of researching treatment options, preparing body (nutrients and supplements if necessary) and mind, administering fertility drugs, adjusting hormone levels, ensuring your endometrium is as healthy as it can be, not to mention constant appointments and tests at a fertility clinic, IVF may have started to feel like a full-time job.

When it is over many people find themselves at a loose end. Without the joy of a pregnancy on which to focus, life can seem very empty all of a sudden, thus exacerbating the pain. If you feel up to it, try to find something entirely unrelated with which to distract yourself, such as a new activity or hobby.

What really helped me was to make a list of all the things I wanted to achieve in my life, whether I had children or not. It was essentially a bucket list that included all manner of activities, both big and small.

I started by ticking off the small things: eating in a restaurant I had always wanted to try and go to a museum I wanted to visit. The act of achieving a goal, no matter how small, and being able to tick something off my list made me feel stronger and more empowered.

Consider your treatment options

Before plunging ahead with a similar treatment plan, convincing yourself it was just bad luck that the first one failed, or before rejecting a new treatment plan that may seem extreme, spend time researching as much as you can. Many people make uninformed decisions about treatment only to regret it afterwards.

Talking openly to your physician and to other patients who have been in your shoes who might provide a new perspective. Ask about endometrial receptivity, scar tissue and other factors that could be impeding your fertility treatment. I have talked to many people who eventually became parents through a treatment option that they had initially rejected, so try not to close any doors before you have fully considered the options.

Some patients think about going for an IVF abroad and they do consult doctors from an overseas IVF clinics even though finally they stay at the home-based clinic. Having “a second opinion” might be a good choice.

Some patients think about changing the IVF clinic once they experienced IVF failure. Read our guide written by Professor Alan Thornhill on how to choose the right clinic for IVF treatment.

Maybe it’s time for some fertility counselling?

Just as counselling can offer invaluable help to patients who rely on assisted reproduction technology before and during treatment, it can also offer support when it fails.

A number of people who have experienced treatment failure told me that they gained huge strength from attending counselling sessions. Counselling will be particularly helpful for those who are unsure of whether to pursue further treatment or not.

Look after your relationship

A failed IVF cycle can take a huge toll on those who are in relationships. Like all forms of grief, the way each individual deals with the loss may be very different; this can lead to tension and even feelings of resentment between a couple.

Having gone through a third cycle I can understand why so many relationships do not survive IVF failure. Day-to-day living whilst going through the process becomes extremely strained and the relationship itself can become less important than the goal of having a baby.
Difficult as it may be, try to spend time talking and understanding each other’s grief, and continue to make time for yourselves as a couple.

The above extract is taken from Five Million Born – An IVF Companion Guide by Anne-Marie Scully. The guide is available at Amazon.

Failed IVF – How Would You Cope With?

A failed IVF cycle isn’t uncommon – but how do you cope with it?

When deciding to start a family the majority of couples take it for granted that conception will happen naturally.

It is, therefore, worrying that the number of people seeking treatment for infertility has dramatically increased. In the UK this is evidenced by a rise in the number of IVF cycles undertaken, with more cycles than ever in 2013, according to a report released in December 2014, by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA).

Disappointingly HFEA also reported that the overall success rate remains unchanged at 25%, or, put another way, 75% of IVF cycles fail.

Failed IVF cycles vs 3 round cycle

For this reason, doctors can often recommend that couples invest in three rounds of treatments in order to maximise their chances of IVF success. This article offers ways you can optimise your chances in a cycle and emotionally recover from any failed IVF attempts.

For couples experiencing the devastation of finding out that they have infertility issues, their route to parenthood often suddenly changes from a beautiful dream to an exhausting round of tests and appointments. Having decided to undergo IVF, the reality is that couples are then set on a path of highs and lows during their treatment cycle.

The anxiety people undergo when waiting for the results of the treatment is often difficult and stressful, then to discover that the cycle has failed brings an enormous sense of loss and frustration. Couples have described their experience as one of immense grief. They were grieving for the potential of a baby lost, and, at the same time, enduring the disappointment that they are not going to be a parent or growing family unit.

This can bring a lot of stress to couples who are left suffering a range of negative emotions including anger, depression, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness. The relationships between the individuals involved, as well as with friends and family members can suffer and lead to feelings of isolation. For women, excessive stress can result in ovulation being disrupted or stopping altogether.

This is a clear example of how mental state has a distinct physical effect on the body.

It is often not easy for us to face up to and deal with negative emotions. One’s emotional state is made worse when the subconscious mind (which stores all memories and experiences – remembering everything that has happened) comes into play without the conscious mind being aware.

Although the sub-conscious mind is simply there to protect, it does so by consciously highlighting that if IVF failed before then it is best to avoid the pain and not go through it again as it will not work. This thought patterning results in mixed feelings when it comes to the question “What to do next after IVF has failed?”

While the conscious mind is willing to keep trying, the sub-conscious does not want to pursue more pain and IVF failure so, therefore, chooses to oppose the idea. This bifurcated emotional state, with the subsequent impact on the physical body, thus reduces the chances of a successful conception. Despite being able to appreciate the protective mechanism of the sub-conscious mind, it is easy to see how it also plays a destructive role by creating disorder within the mind and body.

What to do next if your IVF has failed?

Failed IVF Step 1 – “Sit in Grief.”

Do not suppress or try to fast-forward this process.

How?

Do this by taking time to sit in meditation (even if this is something new for you), just create a space where you will not be interrupted or feel restricted by your clothing. Simply sit in a peaceful area (out in nature or in your home) where you can be comfortable with your back supported.

1. Bring your awareness to where you are feeling the grief in your body. It is energetically stored in your lungs so it would be helpful if you can begin gently lengthening your breath.
2. Get in touch with your emotions by sitting with them, reassuring yourself “It is okay and natural to feel this way”.
3. After recognising them, breathe them out of the body

If the time is not taken to grieve and deal with the trauma, the feelings won’t go away. Instead, they can grow to dominate every aspect of life.

Failed IVF Step 2 – “Create a Refreshed Mindset.”

Prior to next attempting IVF, assisted or natural fertility a refreshed mindset can be created when control of the subconscious mind is regained.

By taking control and eliminating the negativity, it becomes easier to think more clearly, be more focused and be able to make positive decisions about the fertility journey.

How?

Mind mastery techniques can help to change the control that the mind has of the body. This allows people to manage the impact of stress more effectively, as well as enhance their physiology. Mind mastery will typically consist of one, or more of the following:

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is often taken from Daoist, Buddhist and yogic philosophies. It provides a way of paying attention to and seeing clearly what is really going on in one’s life by removing the chains we attach to the false patterns of beliefs and emotions of the subconscious mind. It helps to recognise and then step away from these emotional and physiological conditioned reactions to events. Practicing mindfulness allows one to be fully present in their life, relationships and work as such improving the entire quality of existence through enhanced self-awareness.

Meditation, simply put, involves focusing the mind in a way that promotes the ability and intention to reflect, contemplate or quiet the mind. It results in improved health, wellbeing and ability to deal with stress and trauma.

Mind Detox Exercises

By exploring belief systems, it is possible to re-shape negative cellular memory and thought patterns. In doing so one can regain control and powerfully think themselves fertile.

Failed IVF Step 3 – “Implement Lifestyle Changes.”

When implementing a new fertile lifestyle it tells the brain that a new strategy is being introduced and it can, therefore, expect to have a better outcome.

How?

Lifestyle changes can include the introduction of new stress management techniques as well as embrace fertility yoga. According to Fiona Kacz-Boulton, founder of Awakening Fertility, a wonderful relaxation tip offered to her clients as a quick and easy way to reduce stress and prepare the mind for meditation is the “7’s Breath”.

The “7’s Breath”

The “7’s Breath” is a technique whereby you breathe very, very gently, quietly and slowly to the count of 7. That is, 7 seconds on the inhale and 7 seconds on the exhale. If you breathe too fast you will find it difficult to reach a 7 second breath. If you are not used to yogic breathing you can start with 5 second breathing for 7 rounds until you can build up to 7 seconds.

The key is to focus completely on the breath. No future thoughts, no past thoughts, just be present and mindful of how the breath moves the body: how it inflates all four sides of the ribcage and gently fills the abdomen, then you feel all the breath leave so it naturally contracts the abdomen. This abdominal lock recharges your body’s energy reserve as well as brings about a sense of calm and empowerment.

This breath not only helps to restore fertility, by activating the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, it will help you stay calm and keep your body in a harmonious state, thereby optimizing your chances for your next round of IVF treatment too.

Yoga for Infertility

When the body holds stress, tension or fears it blocks the vital life force energy (called “Qi”) from flowing efficiently. In turn, blocked Qi means circulation is inhibited. When circulation is effected it means blood is unable to carry the nutrients to all the cells for optimum health. The sacral band (which governs digestion and the female reproductive system) is the area most impacted by lack of blood flow and circulation as, when you are stressed, all the blood moves to the extremities. As a result, your digestive system and the reproductive system will suffer.

Failed IVF – Step 4 – “Fertility Food: Detox and Reboot”

When the body has suffered the effects of increased hormones, medical intervention and the emotional trauma that a failed IVF treatment may bring, food can be the best medicine to assist in the physical healing process. To quote Hippocrates “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”

How?

Implementing a mini detox can help you feel completely refreshed. Juice detoxes are popular, so too are MSM (organic food grade sulphur) cleanses or try an easy to follow “Awakening Fertility Morning Detox.”

Awakening Fertility Morning Detox

Every morning squeeze yourself some organic lemon juice, mix with warm water, a dessert spoonful of apple cider vinegar and honey.

Follow with a freshly made raw fruit and vegetable smoothie that can be sipped throughout the morning. Adding SuperFoods to the smoothie is essential so as to feed the body Vitamain C, antioxidants and other nutrient dense foods that keep it functioning optimally, improving egg quality and energy levels.

Foods for Fertility

What one eats is as important as exercising the body and mind. As part of a complementary mind-body detox, it is best to review eating habits.
Here is some food for thought, courtesy of Fertility expert Fiona Kacz-Boulton.

5 Top Fertility Foods That Nature Has Created For You To Easily Remember

1. Avocados – Shaped like the womb and take 9 months to develop. The Aztecs called avocado trees “Ahuacatl” (testicle trees) because the fruits grow in pairs. Avocados are therefore beneficial to male and female fertility
2. Figs – Grow in pairs, look like testicles and are full of zinc to help with sperm function
3. Bananas – Help with erections
4. Raspberries – Resemble nipples and help improve cardiovascular health as well as reduce inflammation (essential for mothers-to-be)
5. Coconut oil – Keeps everything lubricated and running smoothly

The Post IVF Road to Recovery: Feeling Safe to Continue Down the Fertility Path

By establishing a physical, mental and emotional recovery plan, the above life-changing steps have been designed as the blueprints for a new fertile foundation. These tried and tested strategies can help to build a stronger and more powerful sense of hope and confidence required for the journey.

Additionally, to help overcome the distress of a failed IVF cycle, there are numerous natural fertility consultants and coaches who can offer emotional support.

For many people experiencing the trauma, the learning of new stress-reduction techniques, as part of a programme designed to bring positive balance also speeds the recovery time and prepares people for a better result later down the track

Although undergoing an IVF cycle can be a very stressful experience, planning ahead and having coping strategies in place, can give a much greater sense of control. When going into the next IVF cycle or stage of the fertility journey, feeling calm and prepared not only makes the treatment more bearable but may well increase the chance of success.

Coping After Failed IVF Cycle

A failed IVF or abandoned cycle is devastating. Your pin all your hopes on it working, so when it doesn’t you don’t know what to do next. We look for explanations as to why it failed to help us process it.

Finding out our first cycle was unsuccessful and the days following were the worst part of my fertility journey. On those days I wasn’t sure how I would get through it and believe that one day we would get our longed for baby. The day of our results was also our 5th wedding anniversary, so I naively believed it was fate that the result would be positive, which definitely set me up for a bigger fall.

We went for the blood test in the morning and then began the agonising 4 hour wait for the results. I was so on edge all morning, I was dreading every time I went to the toilet in case I started bleeding, and I felt sick about making the call to the unit. Time seemed to tick by at a snail’s pace, but it was finally 12 pm and time to make the call.

The first time I called it was engaged, someone else making that call to find out if their life was about to change.

When I finally got through to the unit, I had to give my name and wait what felt like forever for them to find my results and deliver the heartbreaking news. What an awful or amazing job for the nurses. Just luck of the draw which calls they answer. I felt my heartbreak as they told me the result was negative. I was so convinced that it would work, I felt like my whole life was riding on this result. The rest of the call was a bit of a blur, and I remember finishing it and not knowing what to do next.

We hadn’t told many people we were going through IVF ? just close friends and family, and we hadn’t told anyone we were getting the results that day. It did mean that we had to tell them that it hadn’t worked, which was really difficult, but fairly obvious given my tear-stained face. We went to see my mum first so we could tell her in person and so I could sob on her shoulder.

Luckily our result day was a Friday so I didn’t have to go to work the next day. I spent the weekend struggling to hold it together, everything was a reminder and every reminder broke my heart again. I really struggled in the week after my results – it felt like I had experienced a loss that I kept suddenly remembering and feeling the pain of.

I was also having to hide it from everyone at work as they didn’t know what I was going through.

I found it quite difficult that after we got our results it was like an IVF cold turkey. You are at the unit every day in the run-up to the transfer, then during the two week wait you are clinging on to the hope that the embryo is making itself comfortable.

But after your result, you feel very alone. The negative result signifies the loss of hope in that round and I felt a loss of hope in it ever working.

A negative result can leave you with lots of questions around why it didn’t work, is there anything I could have done differently, what are the next steps, when can I start again, what can we do differently. Unfortunately, the assisted conception units are busy, and it can often seem like forever until you can have a follow up appointment to get answers.

I felt lost and that there wasn’t any form of support after the result – no one else seemed to understand why I was so upset, I was grieving the loss of my embryo and the future life it had represented. It took a long time to get over it.

Eventually, I picked myself up and did what I could to move forward, so I wanted to share some ideas that may help you in the same situation.

Coping after a failed IVF or abandoned cycle

• Allow yourself time to grieve. It’s ok to feel sad, it’s perfectly normal so don’t fight it if you do. Fertility counsellors are always available to offer you additional support during this time and through treatment, If you are struggling it is worth speaking to them about how you are feeling.

• Take care of yourself. Take some time out to look after yourself emotionally and physically. Do something that you enjoy that will help you relax and feel nice. Don’t see it as a luxury, look at it as a necessity. Plan in some things over the following week, it doesn’t need to be anything big, just something where you can focus on you.

• Take some time out with your partner to talk about how you are both feeling after the result. What you would like to do next and what you would like to find out. Use the time to connect and support each other. Also plan in some time where you don’t talk about treatment, talk about what you used to love doing together and remember yourselves as a couple.• Plan in some nice things to do with your close circle – your partner, your family, your close friends. This will give you something to look forward to, and means you get to spend quality time with those people that you love.

• Attend support group meetings. You will be supported by other lovely people that know exactly what you are going through. There are lots of online and face to face meetings on various social media, you can ask questions, share your thoughts and get advice on coping.

• Ask questions. Get answers to all your questions so you can feel fully informed and able to make decisions about your next steps – whether that be another round of IVF, some time out from the intensity of fertility treatment or investigating other routes to parenthood.

If we get an answer, it often makes us feel better psychologically because, if we know the reason it failed, we can make changes next time.

On the medical side, there may be changes that can be made based on learnings from this cycle, but there are also questions you can ask yourself to help you recover and move forward.

Questions to ask yourself after an failed IVF cycle

1. What am I pleased that I did during this round – It could be healthy eating, extra sleep, add on treatments, emotional support, going to a support group, acupuncture, time off – think about what it is that helped you feel better going through the treatment, either physically or emotionally, so you can replicate the good things if/when you have another cycle. There is limited research on the proven benefits of some of these things, but if they made you feel better, more relaxed and more positive throughout your treatment then that is a huge benefit in itself and will have a positive effect on how you feel.
2. What will help me recover from the failed cycle? Look at how you have previously recovered from a great loss or upset, there may be something you have done previously, that helped you cope, that you could use now – seeing friends, time out to yourself, journaling, planning your next steps. Lean on your support network and do what you need to do to get through this difficult time.
3. What can we learn from this failed cycle? Once you know this information you can think about ‘what can we do differently the next time to increase our chances of success?’ Make sure you go to your follow up appointment armed with questions so you can find out what you could do differently next time to improve the chances of success (different medication, higher dosage, different protocol). After a first cycle, your consultant will have more information to work with based on how your body responded. Talk through your questions with your consultant who will be able to advise based on your specific circumstances.
4. Do I need/want to take a break from treatment? It can be tempting to want to get straight back in to your next cycle (I was the same!) as it feels like every month counts, but it is important to allow yourself time to recover so you can be fully prepared emotionally and physically for your next cycle, to increase your chances of a positive result.

Be kind to yourself during this time, the most important thing is to look after yourself emotionally. You don’t need to rush into making any decisions, just take time out, accept how you are feeling and use all your support to get you smiling again.

The HFEA website has some great resources on failed IVF.

Understanding Why IVF Sometimes Fails

When you’re coping with the emotional weight of an unsuccessful IVF cycle, it’s natural to ask, why didn’t it work? Exploring the possible reasons behind IVF failure can be an important part of the healing process and it can also empower you to make informed decisions about what to do next.

Every IVF journey is unique, and there are many factors that can influence outcomes, from embryo quality and uterine receptivity to complex medical conditions that aren’t always easy to detect. Understanding these medical reasons doesn’t erase the grief, but it can offer a sense of clarity and help restore some control over what often feels like an uncontrollable process.

If you’re looking for a deeper understanding of why IVF treatments sometimes fail—and the options that may be available to you afterward, take a look at our detailed guide: Failed IVF Cycle: Failures & Treatments.

Final thoughts

Two stand-out conclusions come from this thought-provoking article. Namely, whilst fertility treatment can be tough, extremely tough, you can get through it by carefully considering your options. Take time to talk to people, you physician, other patients, identify options which are higher risk and eliminate these if possible.

Secondly, there are also positives to be had. Try to focus on those aspects of the fertility treatment and experience that worked well. It may be that you now understand your body more; you recognise its potential; it may be that the treatment experience has brought you and your loved ones closer together. If you feel you are focussing too much on the negative aspects of the ivf attempt, try a distraction – do something completely alien to fertility treatment like refreshing or undertaking a hobby or pastime. Consider seeking the independent assistance of a counsellor if you feel that would help.

Above all, remember, however many cycles you undergo, it is ultimately your decision how far you want to take your own journey. The most important thing is that you do so relaxed, informed and in your own time.